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Post by morningstar on Jul 29, 2008 15:51:09 GMT -5
Sorry guys...I just had to post this...  In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their > family member lay gravely ill. > > Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. > > 'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried > faces. > > 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. > > It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. > > Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain > yourselves..' > > The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great > length of time, someone asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?' > > The doctor quickly responded, '£5,000 for a male brain, and £200 for a > female brain.' > > The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye > contact with the women, but some actually smirked. > > A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone > wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more?' > > The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire > group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price > of the female brains , because they've actually been used.' >
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Post by George the 3rd on Jul 29, 2008 17:17:46 GMT -5
I don't think you're sorry at all!  But then again, how would I know? I'm just a man!  |
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Post by morningstar on Jul 30, 2008 8:40:19 GMT -5
Ha ha! ;D That's okay, George ... I'm a blonde - so .... ummm... like, what was I saying???!!!  |
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Post by Frater G on Jul 30, 2008 11:40:56 GMT -5
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Post by morningstar on Jul 30, 2008 12:35:36 GMT -5
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.   |
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Post by vajramukti on Aug 22, 2008 19:11:12 GMT -5
A blond was walking thru the mall when she saw the most beautiful pair of shoes she had ever seen. She ran into the store, tried them on, and discovered they were $400. She asked why. The salesmen explained that they were alligator shoes, and hard to come by. The blond stormed out saying that she was not going to pay that kind of money for any pair of shoes.  That evening, the salesmen was driving home, when he saw a car pulled off to the side of the road by a lake. There was the same blond woman, with hip waders and a shotgun, and bearing down on her was an enormous alligator.  The salesmen jumped out, cellphone in hand, and dialed "9...1..." when the blond suddenly shot the gator dead. She grabbed it by the tail and heaved it to shore, at which point the salesmen noticed a pile of about 6 dead gators.  The blond jumped up on the gator, flipped it over, grabbed it's foot, then threw her hands up and yelled in disgust... "Damn it, this one's barefooted too!!!" ;D |
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Post by morningstar on Aug 22, 2008 20:40:18 GMT -5
A woman stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling her tank, she paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As she stood by her car to drink her cola, she watched a couple of blonde men working along the roadside. One blonde man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other blonde man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the lady with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the woman, heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," she said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the County," one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the County's money?" "You don't understand, lady," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there are three of us - me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney is sick, that don't mean me and Mike can't work."  |
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Post by elijah on Aug 23, 2008 6:42:15 GMT -5
I used to be blonde |
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Post by morningstar on Aug 23, 2008 7:19:59 GMT -5
Elijah...don't worry about it - it's all in your head. Har-de-har. Sorry - couldn't resist the corny humour. |
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Post by Frater G on Aug 24, 2008 13:31:32 GMT -5
Ok then one turn deserves another. A businessman was spending the weekend at a convention down by the Florida coast. Each day he would get up and pass a pier where he noticed a man fishing all by himself. Each day he noticed the same man. On the final day he decided to walk down and see what he was up to. "Having any luck?" he asked. The man replied "I caught a few and I'm here on my honeymoon" "Really, where's your wife?" "She back in the hotel" "Shouldn't you be consummating your marriage?" "Well you see my wife has Gonorrhea." "Oh my gosh that's terrible. Shouldn't you be at least kissing her?" "Well you see my wife has Pyorrhea." "Oh my lord that's awful. Shouldn't you at least be hugging her holding her close?" "Well you see my wife has Diarrhea." "Alright now let me get this straight. You wife has Gonorrhea, Pyorrhea and Diarrhea. Why in the world did you marry her?" "Well you see my wife has worms and you know how I love to fish."   |
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